12 Ways to Fix Social Security
The Social Security program faces a long term financing shortfall. The trust fund's reserves are currently projected to cover payments until the end of 2037. Then there will only be sufficient resources to pay about three quarters of scheduled benefits. For full checks to be issued after that date the program's financing or benefit structure must be modified.
What trust fund? What reserves? There are no Social Security trust funds or Social Security reserves. Everything that is paid into Social Security, is immediately paid out for Social Security. If there is anything left over, the federal government transfers the funds to another department where it can be immediately spent.
After close analysis of the 12 ways to save Social Security, I was able to condense them down to 2 ways. When you put them both together, this is government brainpower at it's best.
1. Increase taxes.
This is brilliant. If you make Social Security tax 200% of earnings, then the amount of money the government pretends to hold for Social Security would increase very rapidly. In no time at all, the government would have plenty of surplus funds to spend on increased salaries and retirement benefits for the government flunkies and drones who are all exempt from Social Security.
2. Decrease benefits.
This is brilliant. All you need to do is cancel ALL benefits. If there are no benefits, there is no payouts. If there are no payouts, the government won't fall short of funds earmarked for Social Security. In no time at all, the government would have plenty of surplus funds to spend on increased salaries and retirement benefits for the government flunkies and drones who are all exempt from Social Security.
However, there are a couple of drawbacks to this genius government plan.
If Social Security taxes are increased to 200%, or even 150% or 100% of peoples salaries, people might realize that it makes more sense to quit their jobs and go on government welfare because you would get more money than from working.
If the federal government stops paying out Social Security benefits, people might realize that it makes more sense to quit their jobs and go on government welfare because you would never be able to retire if you depend on the government Social Security system.
There you have it. The solution to Social Security. Everybody will stop working and go on welfare. No more Social Security problem.
There might be a welfare problem. But with the same genius used to solve the Social Security problem, I am sure the government will come with an equally intelligent solution to the welfare problem. Maybe the United States can use the same solution that Mexico is using for their economic problems. Destroy enough of the economy, and millions of citizens will flee the country looking for better opportunities. When everyone flees the country, you will have fewer people living off of welfare.
