U.S. hospital infections killed 48,000: report
Pneumonia and blood-borne infections caught in hospital killed 48,000 patients and cost $8.1 billion in 2006, according to a report released on Monday.
Because more people die in hospitals than are killed by hand guns, the federal government is considering banning hospitals.
The federal government stated that the ban on hospitals will serve multiple purposes. It will help balance the budget (since many hospitals are subsidized by medical and medicare payments). It will provide increased work for undertakers and funeral homes (from the higher death toll). It will provide additional work for lawyers (who can sue doctors for performing surgeries in offices and homes). It will send a message to the health care community that the days when they can take advantage of the general population are over.
The onion.com was quoted as saying that if I "ever attempt to write a humorous article again, they will have my literary license revoked."
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